'N' is for Neville, who died of ennui

I plan on doing great things one day. In the meantime, I have a job. And a 401k. And a blog.

Lights, Panties, Gas, Snapping & Chad

Lights and Panties

The florescent light above my desk at work decided to flicker today.  Flicker a lot.  It was like “Joe vs. the Volcano”.  Horrible.

I also showed my underwear at work today.  Because who knew my new pants would stretch out during the day and start riding lower and lower until I was pulling my shirt down over my butt every other minute?  I certainly didn’t.  And it wouldn’t have been so bad if I hadn’t been wearing a thong.  But I was, and that means that if one of the 50-year old ladies I work with saw it she now thinks I am whore.  A dirty prostitute whore. 

A Cautionary Tale

So Paul went out the other day to get his car washed.  He went to one of those self-operated car washes, were everything you could ever want/need to clean your car is available in vending-machine form, including a car vacuum and shampoo and even fresh new car scent.  Paul decided that the new car scent sounded pretty spiffy, so he paid his 50 cents and sprayed it all over the inside of his car. Then he hopped in his car and took it through the car wash and only when the wash was in full-swing, with soap and water spraying all around him, did Paul realize he used a bit too much new car scent.  In that it was now burning his lungs and causing him to have an extended coughing fit.  Where it was hard to breath.  And that he couldn’t crack a window, because of the soap and water.  And that he was going to die in a car wash.  He told me he almost just left the car.  Got right out into the soapy car wash, just to get some air. 

I got in his car many hours after the incident, and the new car scent was still potent enough to make my lungs burn.  We drove to dinner with the windows down, even though it was 36 degrees. 

New Friends

On Friday, I was talking to one of my new work friends.  He mentioned that his lady was going out of town for the weekend and that he had nothing to do.  I mentioned that my friends and I were going to a cheap/awesome comedy show and that he should come.  He said that it sounded cool and he would. 

So he shows up and we watch the show and have a good time and then decide to go to another bar that is a short drive away and, since he has not been drinking yet, it is decided that new work friend will drive. 

And we get in the car and I start to give him directions to the bar we decided to go to.  Because he lives in another neighborhood and he didn’t mention he knew the bar and I figured he didn’t because it isn’t an incredibly well-known establishment.  And we’ve been in the car for ten minutes and are coming up to the last turn before we get there and I say, “You wanna make a left here,” and he says, in a very short tone, “Hey, I’ve lived here all my life, baby doll.  I know where I’m going.” 

So, yes.  This is my new work friend.  Who I have been hanging out with for a total of one hour, the longest amount of time we have ever spent together.  And this upsets me because, clearly, we are not on snapping terms yet.  Maybe if it was the sixth month of our friendship and we were in hour 6 of a 9-hour road trip, I could understand being snapped at.  But it isn’t, and we aren’t, I don’t understand at all.  Why not just go with a pleasant, “Oh, I know the way,” or, “Thanks.  I can find it from here”?  This was the very last direction I gave him in a long series of directions.  Why not stop me the first time?  Why let it continue?  Because, really, passive-aggressive and snappish aren’t qualities I look for in a new work friend. 

He did immediately apologize for being so short, but I am still suspicious.  I can’t be hanging out with folks who are going to yell at me whenever I do something I had no way of knowing was wrong.  He is interesting and smart and funny, but the snapping really needs to be kept in check. 

In Response To A Voicemail Left For Me By Chad

 I did not know that about James Joyce.  He is even dirtier than a dirty prostitute.

posted by: serenaluchang at 05/02/05 20:04 | link | comments (14) |

Comments:

#1  03 May 2005 - 00:22

 

you're a day late. you know what that means, yer knocked down a grade.

is it me or isn't the 'baby doll' reference more offensive than the snapping behavior?

Anonymous

#2  03 May 2005 - 05:13

 

Yes, a new friend who snaps at you and calls you "baby doll" in the same breath. Whatta guy. More obnoxious than too much car deodorant.

So what aspect of James Joyce are you referring to? His writing? His operation?

InMyLife

#3  03 May 2005 - 13:29

 

how did he apologize? "Sorry, I get kind of snippy when I haven't had a drink in a while?" Did he explain? Maybe he was missing his partner already, feeling the anguish of her absense...

tickledspirit

#4  03 May 2005 - 18:23

 

the panty experience always happen to me. once my friend pulled my shirt in my stead and remarked, "I saw your panty. it's pink and it's floral."

milktea

#5  04 May 2005 - 10:26

 

baby doll? baby doll? is your new work friend 70 years old?

Anonymous

#6  04 May 2005 - 13:30

 

I show my underwear at work practically every day I'm there, although I try so hard not too. This one woman who used to work there would tell me she could see my undies by hissing "Watch your back." Threatening. I should've been like, "Watch your lolites, clown."

Anonymous

#7  04 May 2005 - 21:20

 

Be careful of that flickering light. We'd all hate to read you had a brain cloud. Those things are deadly!

BD.Jeffrey

#8  05 May 2005 - 13:39

 

heh. yeah, upon further review that babydoll crack does seem quite old school.

and the quick uneasy snapping means yeah, the odds are he's probably gonna rape you. but he'll probably wear a fedora and there'll be quick witty banter involved.

JStakes

#9  06 May 2005 - 05:49

 

Ohhh. You've gotta cut that bitch down for the "babydoll" remark. You can't call someone babydoll unless you have known them for 5+ years and/or have seen them naked.

Anonymous

#10  06 May 2005 - 05:52

 

By the way, the above post was brought to you by adrianne from notwellplanned, who is still reading your blog EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE THOROUGHLY DISAPPOINTED HER BY NO LONGER MAKING HER LAUGH SO HARD SHE SPITS HER TEA OUT ON A DAILY BASIS!! Why post only once a week? Because you have a life? Not a good enough reason!!!

Anonymous

#11  06 May 2005 - 12:52

 

It's the babydoll that makes it wrong. So very, very wrong. That's not your new work friend. That's the new tool you found at work.

Yoshick

#12  08 May 2005 - 01:24

 

This blog sucks now that you only write once a week. Before it was funny and fresh every time I visited. Now it's nothing but a big ole tease. And an increasingly forgettable one at that. You see, before I would think of neville often, and visit with a reasonable expectation of being rewarded with copious comedic gems. Now I'd have to wait a few months to get what I was accustomed to getting once a week. Not worth the effort of remembering, in my opinion.

Anonymous

#13  08 May 2005 - 06:32

 

Oh, unlogged visitor, I don't think that's true. Her posts are just as good, only more infrequent. There's not many people in the blog world that make me laugh as hard as Ms Luchang. I've never read another story that can make me laugh months later like the text-messaging-from-her-sister story (which I thought of in the shower the other day and laughed out loud). Don't be such a hater. We're all friends here.

notwellplanned

Anonymous

#14  11 July 2005 - 13:48

 

i love u

Anonymous

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