'N' is for Neville, who died of ennui

I plan on doing great things one day. In the meantime, I have a job. And a 401k. And a blog.

Incomplete Sentences

The Current Fantasy

Is that this will become a weekly blog, with me posting every Sunday evening.  This is a good plan because it lets you know when to expect a new post and it also has a high liklihood of actually happening becuase I never want to go to sleep Sunday night and am always searching for some wonderful excuse to stay up late and not get enough sleep and be a big ol' bitch at work Monday morning.  I may post more often, but I will not post less unless I first give notice complete with a detailed explanation and a list of penances I plan on performing for being such a bad blogger.

This Weekend

Was interesting for me.  Evan went out of town, which is always a little tricky.  Not that Evan leaving town is a problem...the problem is that historically I don't do well sleeping in a house by myself.  There are many reasons for this.  I've always been a nervous person, I had trouble sleeping when I was little, and my apartment was once broken into while I was asleep.  The bad robber people left without taking anything once they realized the apartment was, in fact, occupied, but it was still scary as fuck.  But the good news is that this weekend, for the first time in a very long time, I was able to fall asleep in my apartment by myself.  Of course I had the lights on and the tv on and I slept on the couch but, still, it was progress.

So I'm asleep Saturday morning when I hear this sound.  It sounds like someone is tearing my front door off of its hinges and it scares the crap out of me.  Before I'm even fully awake I start yelling.  Not a girly scream, mind you, but an "I'm going to kill you as soon as I get my eyes open," kind of a gutteral yell.  So I'm kind of embarrassed when I do open my eyes and realise the noise was just caused by some things falling off a high shelf in the coat closet.  I bet it startled the hell out of the neighbors. 

I told this story to my sister and she laughed.  She asked me if I remembered the time I almost killed her when she came home from school early.  I had no memory of this event, so she reminded me.  I had just come home for the summer from college and she got out of high school early.  Apparently, she had a little trouble opening the front door of my parents' house and fumbled with her keys for a bit.  When she did get the door open, she says, the first thing she saw was me running down the hall at her at top speed, like I was going to tackle her.  She was startled and, as soon as I recognized her, I stopped.  She asked me, "The hell?" and I responded, "I thought you were trying to break in." 

Panic

Is what I felt yesterday when, walking to my car, a familiar man in a car honked at me.  He then stopped and, rolling down his window, said hello.  It took me a second to figure out who the hell this familiar man was.  And then I realized: it's my new boss.  At my new job.  He was driving through my neighborhood, saw me, and decided to say hi.  We chatted for a bit about our weekends and it was all very pleasant. On the surface.  Underneath, however, I was in a panic.  "What am I wearing?  Shit.  Pajama bottoms.  My coat covers most of them.  What do I have in my hands?  Any whiskey bottles?  Condoms?  Could anything about my outward appearance get me fired right now?"  Because, when you're walking to your car on a Saturday afternoon you really don't plan to run into your boss.  And I usually don't do/carry things that could get me fired while walking to my car, but you never know.  Today could have been that day I decided to get rid of the body.  Just my luck.

The Kool Aid Man

Is now wearing pants.  Has anyone else noticed?  In the latest commercial he still comes bustin' through a fence to spread the joy of kool-aid to all, but he's wearing a pair of dockers as he does it.  Why?  What does the Kool-Aid man have to cover up?  Does the Kool-Aid man have junk?  Since when?  He used to be smooth like a Ken doll.  I wonder what changed. 

posted by: serenaluchang at 04/24/05 23:11 | link | comments (18) |

Comments:

#1  25 April 2005 - 02:20

 

glad to hear you'll be posting regularly, it's always healthier to do so, but can I make a request to increase the contrast between the background and the text, as they are two fairly similar shades of (individually very nice) green and reading it is easier with higher contrast...

Anonymous

#2  25 April 2005 - 12:14

 

yeah, i noticed that, too, about the Kool-Aid man. Bush and the right-wingers take over and now the Kool-Aid man needs pants...anyone see the correlation?

Anonymous

#3  25 April 2005 - 12:37

 

ahh.

well. hope you enjoyed that, too.

and i hope you don't see us that were concerned as strange-o possessive or something. we don't "know" you, but we "know" you...you know?

when someone disappears without warning for three weeks, you just wonder that the reasons are probably not too good behind that. like someone broke into their apartment.

i don't know, i'd think of that kinda deal the other way. if i got robbed or something, i'd be all 'what are the chances of that happening AGAIN?' i'd figure that was my lucky strike and that the odds would be even more favorable on my side for the rest of my life. of course home robberies often dont work like that. my neighbor's house has been robbed twice, and he's a former cop. i guess i'll shut up.

bah, did your neighbors do anything after you screamed? seems all crime these days could be mistaken as lover quarrels or hot fuckin.

JStakes

#4  25 April 2005 - 13:30

 

I understand completely.
I survived a house fire, and although statistically that's the only house fire I'll have in my lifetime, that doesn't stop me from getting up to check every outdoor ashtray after a party multiple times overnight. Just in case the ashes, you know, spontaneously burst into flames an hour later.

daymented

#5  25 April 2005 - 13:52

 

I'm so glad you're posting once a week now. There is no blog quite like yours.

Here's a line from Princess Bride that we quote whenever anyone is nervous about sleeping: "Good night. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning."

InMyLife

#6  25 April 2005 - 14:17

 

Onetime in high school, I had to dress up as the Kool Aid Man for a supermarket promotion. The costume was inflated from within by fan I had to wear strapped to my back beneath the suit. It also included pants, because I guess my own legs sticking out from beneath the Kool Aid AMn's body would've seemed incongruous.
Maybe they've decided to portray him consistently in all his many incarnations.

Anonymous

#7  26 April 2005 - 22:34

 

Just found you, and pretty much stayed based solely on your profile description. Loved it.

Would NOT know what to do if ran into new boss in similar situation. Nice work on not being a surface panicker!

Anonymous

#8  27 April 2005 - 12:16

 

The Kool-Aid guy has pants now? I need my naked fictional promo characters to survive. Next time I see that bastard I'm going to pants him.

Yoshick

#9  27 April 2005 - 15:00

 

I love the new layout.

Don't ever go away again for almost a month. I will come up there.

Anonymous

#10  29 April 2005 - 11:21

 

i want to squeeze that eye pimple.

i like you serenalu.

Anonymous

#11  30 April 2005 - 00:33

 

im pretty sure im one of those completely random readers i read somewhere amongst your blogs...

yet i have to say im pleased. i will read again.

and i will most likely like it.

Anonymous

#12  30 April 2005 - 03:55

 

hey, it's good to be back. and you, my dear, are as lovely as ever ;)

Anonymous

#13  30 April 2005 - 03:56

 

that was me - methinks.

Anonymous

#14  01 May 2005 - 12:07

 

today is the true test. will she or will she not keep up her end of the bargain? afterall, it is sunday.

Anonymous

#15  02 May 2005 - 05:23

 

*sigh* Looks like she stood us up.

Anonymous

#16  02 May 2005 - 08:48

 

let's protest! this is an outrage!

Anonymous

#17  02 May 2005 - 10:05

 

I know I feel cheated. I was willing to wait out the week, knowing that Sunday night would bring a post. But when it didn't, well, now I'm left with an empty feeling inside.

Come back.

Anonymous

#18  05 May 2005 - 09:32

 

I suppose the M&M dudes will be next...

Anonymous

Comments: